Ramblings After Another Week

Yesterday marked three full weeks of being an employed adult. After 4 1/2 years of college, it's strange to think that this chapter of my life does not have a defined ending point. Exams, classes, semesters all end, but a job doesn't...at least not in the same way. To me, especially as a teacher, my job is a commitment. Not a "til death do you part" commitment, but a "this is what I'm doing until someone makes it stop" commitment. Granted, I did just sign a paper informing me that my temporary position could be terminated at any point without discussing it with me beforehand, so this job could end sooner than expected. Ramblings aside, I'm playing a different ball game now, writing a new chapter.

I found out that I was not actually starting a new infant classroom, but taking the place of an assistant toddler teacher after some shuffling took place. During my first day and a half in that toddler room, I felt like I had been dropped in the middle of chaos. (Note: toddlers are not exactly the opposite of chaos!) The head teacher had not been sticking to the established routine during the two weeks with a substitute, plus they had just gotten a new bus driver. For anyone who knows young children, you know that all of those changes are a recipe for WHOA.

So, for the past week I've been adjusting to waking up at 4, new bus routes, spending all 9 hours of my shift (minus lunch) with my 8 toddlers, and getting comfortable with the kids and my coworkers.

Right now, I'm figuring out how to communicate with a head teacher who is just as quiet as I am, how to bridge cultural gaps that are big and small, how to get to know 8 new little personalities/temperaments, how to be an intentional toddler teacher, and how to survive 16 hour days that include 2-3 hours of me time. There are some days I think I won't be able to handle everything, and other days I'm more optimistic. I know I have a lot to learn and many ways to grow, so I'm praying for grace each day, just for that day, to do my best.

Another new facet of adulthood I'm figuring out is the 3-ish hours of my day devoted to commuting. The cold weather is the most difficult for me right now. Since I forsook one of my buses downtown in favor of walking 8 blocks (to stay warm), I've started to enjoy the atmosphere, the glimpses of the sunrise, and the overall quiet of the morning. If I could just keep all the feeling in my legs and feet, it would be much more enjoyable. I can't wait for spring now! Not only will spring bring warm body temperatures, but also the absence of ice on sidewalks, which will mean faster walking!

I've had plenty of warnings/advice on how to handle myself in North Minneapolis. Frankly, I'm not very worried during the daytime. When I encounter strangers on the street or bus, I want to be able to see past differences that are on the surface, not make assumptions based on first impressions. There are still moments where I get nervous or I'm sure that the people across from me on the bus are talking about me, but I just keep reminding myself that I am fine, the majority of the people around me are fine, and God is with me.

As I move into another week of adulthood, I hope and pray that God will make me adequate for what He has called me to do at this time. Overall, I am slowly learning and choosing to take responsibility for all facets of my life - I just regret that it has taken me this long to do so! And on that note, I now take responsibility for the clean laundry laying on the chair and the 8 hours of sleep I WILL get tonight!

O-bla-di, O-bla-dah

Life goes on.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a job. Last Friday, I accepted a full-time position working as an assistant infant teacher in North Minneapolis. I will be working for an agency that serves a very diverse range of families and has an equally diverse group of employees! After being in training for one week, I have had plenty of time to process why I am excited, and why I am less than excited. These are listed below, partly for my benefit, but it will help you know more about what I will be doing!

Reasons why I am excited for this job:

• 40 hours/week = enough money to pay all of my bills.
• I get to work with babies! I love babies. :)
• The agency really cares about all-around excellence and provides great services for many families.
• They really emphasize the necessity of relationships and teamwork as part of our job, both with coworkers and families. It will be a great opportunity for me to build skills in this area.
• The employees I have met so far are fun, caring people who want to be there.
• Our training includes a wide variety of information that is going to be extremely helpful...I am going to be so well prepared!
• I'm going to buy myself some awesome scrubs to wear!

Reasons why I'm nervous/unexcited:

• I'm halfway through 2 weeks of training. 8 hours a day of ice breakers, Power Points, handouts, and various forms of lectures all taking place in a basement with no windows. It's like being in college all over again.
• My position, along with many others, are new and funded by federal stimulus money. In other words, it is temporary and has no guarantee of becoming permanent. They hope to make it long-term, but for right now I'm working on trusting in God's plan for me.
• As I planned, I have been taking the bus to and from work. My attitude towards this is a work in progress. It's hard not to resent my lack of car when I get on a bus far too early in the morning and can't feel my toes when I finally walk into work 90 minutes later, when my 30 minute layover in St. Paul is on a street corner with enough language to fill an R-rated movie, or when I have to ride the bus home with those cussing characters. I am reminding myself each day that I do not deserve to have a warm car ride to and from work.
• Between my 9 hour shift and 3+ hours of commuting, most of my day is spoken for. I can't really do much else besides unwind a little, eat and go to bed.

Overall, I feel very blessed to have found a job so quickly, and one that I am excited for! The women training us have mentioned multiple times how picky the agency is in who they hire, telling us that we are the best of the best. I never really thought of myself in that way, so I feel like I have big shoes to fill.

I would really appreciate your prayers as I continue in my first job as a teacher!

A Blog Entry Which Summarizes Some of My Current Thoughts, With Some Small Attempts at Being Witty

1. As of 6:15 pm on Sunday, I am officially unemployed for the first time in 5 1/2 years. Days 1 and 2 of unemployment have been very enjoyable. I'll let you know when that changes.
2. Last night, I submitted my 9th and 10th job applications. I have been contacted about 2 of those 10. Still waiting to hear about last week's job interview. If "Diane" follows through, I will have a brief phone interview sometime tomorrow afternoon. In my recent experience, however, managers rarely stick to their word regarding phone calls. Maybe I should start writing in my cover letter that I ALWAYS keep my promises...at least when it comes to phone calls. Except for that one phone call I promised last week.
3. I have committed to surviving without my own car until I can buy a good one, but I wish I had one right now. I've seen multiple nanny positions that sound wonderful, but are way out of bus range. The bus only goes so far! Either all the rich families with nannies need to move back to the real suburbs, or someone needs to tell Metro Transit what's really up.
4. Every time I do laundry, my closet shrinks a little. Where has all this clothing come from, and where am I supposed to put it?
5. On Saturday, I went with Kayla and my mom to look at wedding dresses. One store had beautiful dresses on sale for $99. For about ten seconds, I thought to myself, "Oh man, this is such a great deal! Maybe I should just buy one now just in case I can't find such a good deal when I get engaged!" Then I gave myself a mental slap to the face.
6. You know what I really dislike? Those times when you are (figuratively) sprinting towards something that is wonderful and exactly what you want, and then a big, fat brick wall pops up out of nowhere and says, "Nuh-uh, you aren't gettin' anywhere near that!" Those are the times when I'm grateful that God has a bigger plan for my life and kept me from obtaining something or going somewhere for a good reason. Even so, I can't help thinking sometimes how great my life would have been without that talking brick wall.
7. I lost my Ipod while visiting my grandparents a few weekends ago. It probably ended up somewhere in the 2+ feet of snow they now have. Is it to much to hope for my Ipod to survive until the snow melts and spring comes?
8. I am a selfish, rotten, sinful human, and I am sick of myself sometimes. Pray that God would shake me out of my stupidity and bring out the righteousness that comes from knowing Him and loving Him most.

An Update

Yesterday was one of "those" days for me. I got lost on the way to my interview, got there 5 minutes late, and consequently was not on top of my game as much as I should have been, especially considering some questions I was not expecting. I was driving my sister's car, which has the worst winter traction (besides my old car!). I got stuck twice when I was in the Caribou drive through! That all snowballed with worry about getting a job, and I was ready for the day to be over.

I know that God will provide for me, but worry and fear sneak their way into my life so much that the truth is often eclipsed. Thankfully, last night and this morning I was reminded that God has already been providing for me and still is. My grandparents have been extremely generous with what little they have to give, including leftovers! I've been offered about 10 hours of overtime during my last week at work, and this morning I opened a letter that contained a refund after canceling my car insurance. It's happening little by little, but these seemingly small blessings help remind me that God knows and cares.

On that note, please continue to pray that God would make my job search fruitful, that employers would contact me, that I would have a successful interview for the job God has for me at this time. Also pray that I would not find my security in my employment, but in my salvation. Wherever I end up, I am looking forward to starting a new "adventure" after college.

Ways My Life Has Changed Since the Last Post...and How You Can Keep Praying!

• I graduated college!
• I passed my Praxis test, most unexpectedly. I thought that I did absolutely horrible on the essays, but I was wrong.
• I finally got rid of my car! While it is a huge blessing to finally be free from "Miss Beatrice," it also hurts to have that part of my independence gone. Thankfully, my sister is willing to share her car with me for the time being. I've decided that I'm not going to buy another car until I can afford a decent one. Until that happens, I will be relying on my sister and the bus.
• I started searching and applying for a variety of jobs. I don't have my teaching license yet, due to the fact that I need a job just to afford the application fee. I've applied to 6 or 7 retail openings in the area around my home. My goal is to get a job that pays the bills for right now and then figure out my career later.
• I finally got an interview! I was getting a little down about the fact that no one had called me back. Two days after I submitted my resume to a bridal shop, the manager called me back! So, I have an interview 10 AM on Tuesday. Yay!

Ode to The Car Which Was Hell-Bent On Its Owner's Devastation

Miss Beatrice, my time with you is finally done.

Because of you, my dignity was overrun.

For ten long months you sought my demise;

I know now that purchasing you was unwise.

The oil-burning engine left a putrid aroma.

The carbon monoxide could have put me in a coma.

But all of your attacks I have survived

Though, of oxygen my brain was deprived.

Pushing, sliding, cracking, jumping

Why were you so intent on abusing?

Since March, you’ve run up a bill quite nice,

More than thirty-five times the trade-in price!

Now I’ve gone and sold you to the junkyard

Still, my budget and existence are truly scarred.

Though your existence I surely abhor,

You won all the battles, but I won the war.

It hasn't quite hit me yet...

...that I am graduating in five days! Nearly four months ago, I began what seemed like the longest and most intimidating semester of my life...but I came out on the other side alive!

I was so blessed to work with some of the most generous first grade families I have encountered yet. At the end of my last day, yesterday, the class had a root beer float party to celebrate and then sent me home with a tub full of more teacher stuff than I know what to do with!

I just started thinking about life after college. My primary focus all these weeks was just getting to the end of student teaching. More recently, my focus was on getting a job to pay next month's bills. I just realized that there is a life on the other side of college, and I will soon be entering it. On that note, please be praying!

• That God will provide a job in His timing that not only pays the bills, but also is something I can enjoy
• That God will provide the transportation for whatever job I get.
• That I will settle in to my post-graduation life and figure out what I'm supposed to do!

Finally, you're invited to a Christmas concert on Saturday the 19th at Berean Baptist Church in Burnsville. It is put on almost entirely by Northwestern alum, including myself, and it is going to be great!